A Parallel Universe
Reality vs Religion in the SSM Debate.
My continuing deconstruction story: I’m an Aussie who grew up Catholic, became a Protestant, spent six decades as an Evangelical Christian, then de-converted.
By mid-2017, mainstream Australia had swung firmly behind a ‘Yes’ vote in the Same Sex Marriage debate. Businesses like Qantas and Telstra came out in support. The Australian Football League and Country Women’s Association both did on the same day. TV shows ‘The Living Room’ and ‘The Project’ supported a ‘Yes.’
When I posted a list of organisations supporting SSM on Facebook, a pastor friend wrote under each post the same condemning line: “The bleating of the sheep.”
There was a noticeable contrast between my real and religious worlds. The real world, including some Christians, was mostly positive, in stark contrast to the vicious culture war raging in my online ‘Christian’ world. Here’s some examples.
We Can Fix You
Some Christians justified their opposition by arguing that the LGBTIQA+ orientation was a lifestyle choice curable with Christian reparative or ‘conversion therapy.’ This was despite a lack of empirical evidence to support this, and high-profile failures of such therapy, such as the well-documented Exodus International case.[i][ii][iii][iv][v] At its peak, Exodus coordinated hundreds of affiliated ministries world-wide, and Evangelical Christians everywhere quickly bought into the ‘We can fix you’ mindset.
Tragically, LGBTIQA+ Christians took their lives when therapy failed. As media and legal scrutiny intensified, Exodus eventually renounced its therapy model, concluding it didn’t work and caused harm. In 2012, then president Alan Chambers distanced Exodus from conversion therapy, saying the organisation had been “imprisoned in a worldview” that caused harm rather than healing.
Exodus International closed in 2013, but its affiliated ministries did not. Its practices continued under new names elsewhere. Australian survivor networks documented a pattern: People cycling through rebranded ‘ex gay’ programs without change, accumulating further harm. A survivor community, founded by Anthony Venn Brown, formed to support those leaving Exodus-style ministries in Australia.[vi]
Real World Medicine
Meanwhile, in the real world, fact-based responses were the norm. Here’s some highlights. Australian Peak Medical organisations put out statements unanimously in favour, joining long lists of international peak medical bodies. The Australian Medical Association said in its online statement:
“Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex and queer/questioning (LGBTIQ) Australians experience significantly poorer health outcomes than the broader population. Many of these inequalities are the tragic manifestation of a long history of institutional discrimination, including: the criminalisation of male homosexuality, the classification of homosexuality as a psychiatric disorder, the availability of the ‘gay panic defence’ in cases of assault or murder, and the prohibition of same-sex adoption. Many of these injustices have been appropriately nullified, yet LGBTIQ Australians still do not enjoy equal treatment under Australian law.”[vii]
These ‘historical inequalities’ were legislated at the behest of religious bodies when they held sway. Worse, the same inequalities will be reintroduced if religion ever holds sway again. Religion has waged war on LGBTIQA+ people for centuries and will continue to use its power and influence to do so for as long as it can.
The Australian Psychological Society (APS), with over 20,500 members, also disavowed conversion therapy, saying in a statement: “The APS also strongly opposes any approach to psychological practice or research that attempts to change an individual’s sexual orientation.” The position statement went on:
“There is no peer-reviewed empirical psychological research objectively documenting the ability to ‘change’ an individual’s sexual orientation. Furthermore, there is no peer-reviewed empirical psychological research demonstrating that homosexuality or bisexuality constitutes a disorder. In addition to the lack of empirical support for the claim that sexual orientation can be changed, empirical evidence indicates that attempts at changing sexual orientation can be harmful.”[viii]
That damning paragraph rebuts the religious worldview that insists sexual orientation is a fixable personal choice and argues that worldview causes harm.
As the harm continued, even post-debate, Australian governments moved to ban conversion practices. Victoria introduced the Change or Suppression (Conversion) Practices Prohibition Act 2021 and set up a civil response scheme within the Victorian Equal Opportunity and Human Rights Commission.[ix] NSW’s Conversion Practices Ban Act 2024 criminalised practices causing harm and set up a civil complaints scheme. Other jurisdictions enacted or committed to similar bans.
Would criminalising conversion therapy stamp it out? Former pastor Matt Glover, who worked as a counsellor with LGBTIQA+ clients, said:
“Gay conversion could never be stamped out entirely because, for many, it’s ideologically driven.”[x]
I’ve said it before, the church myth-base is a critical system issue it can’t fix.
Marriage is Not Christian
In another example, Christians argued that marriage was uniquely Christian, and SSM just wasn’t marriage. I’d addressed this in ‘Society and Same Sex Marriage:’
Marriage is not unique to the Christian tradition, but we have imbued it with a heavy spiritual layer. This may lead some to believe a true marriage only exists if that spiritual component is present. That is not necessarily the case. At its most basic level, a marriage exists when two people request it and the state recognises it, usually by issuing a marriage licence.
In another highlight, Lisa Hunt-Wotton Wrote a “A Brief History of Marriage,” pointing out that before we have an opinion on marriage equality, we should know the history of marriage. Where it comes from, how it evolved and where it stands today. She noted most people think marriage originated from the Bible or Christianity, but this was not so. The first recorded evidence of marriage contracts and ceremonies date to Mesopotamia 4,000 years ago. This predates Christianity by thousands of years, and marriage has evolved, even in the Bible. She concluded that marriage today is a modern construct radically different from the past:
“Marriage is not defined by the Church or State but by the lives of people who marry according to the social and personal beliefs of the time and place.” [xi]
No matter where they turned, the ‘No’ case was losing every argument.
Macho Sports Support
Columnist Peter FitzSimons wrote a stirring article in the SMH on the pre-match entertainment for the NRL Grand Final. Gay footballer and NRL star Ian Roberts had written to NRL chief Todd Greenberg suggesting the NRL come out in support of SSM. Greenberg replied instantly: They would do exactly that.
Then Greenberg announced the pre-match entertainment would be American rapper Macklemore singing his anthem to marriage equality, Same Love. On the day, the crowd loved it. Afterwards, FitzSimons interviewed Roberts on its impact. “It will save lives,” a tearful Roberts said. “Simple as that. It will save lives.”
FitzSimons wrote:
“His point is a beauty. For all those troubled teens, alone in the dark as he was all those years ago, agonised over their sexuality, the lesson of that anthem being sung on that occasion, is clear. You are not alone. And not only do many people feel an attraction to their same gender, and not only should it be no big deal one way or another, but even the most macho of sports recognises that. And in short order, the state itself will likely pass legislation to say you’ll have equal rights in marriage, too. How far we’ve come.”[xii]
In short order, the state did make marriage equality legal. However, the SSM debate had exposed a conceptual contradiction in Christianity: Ideologically driven pastoral care framed as love that produced measurable harm. The church couldn’t fix the problem it created so the state stepped in to outlaw ‘conversion therapy.’
That explains the frantic calls to legislate religious freedoms after the debate. Churches operate under a ‘social licence’ from society. If their behaviour causes harm, it damages their social standing. If the church can’t or won’t curb harmful behaviour, then the state must step in to stop it. It happened with child sexual abuse and with conversion therapy, at around the same time. A double whammy.
Churches knew they were in trouble but couldn’t stop themselves. They never can.
Mistranslation Matters
Speaking of trouble, someone from my church sent me a list of all the Bible verses that used the word ‘homosexual.’ The problem was that person went version-hopping to find them all, but neglected to mention it, thinking I wouldn’t check.
Most modern translations recognise the term homosexual is of modern origin and therefore not a good rendition for an ancient word. Indeed, the word homosexual first appeared in the RSV Bible in 1946. The RSV was once (gasp) my daily read.
There’s even a feature documentary on it. ‘1946: The Mistranslation That Shifted Culture’ follows the story of researchers who trace the origins of the anti-gay movement among Christians to this grave Bible mistranslation back in 1946.[xiii]
A strong scholarly argument was made that this was a mistranslation, and the RSV was later rectified. However, other translations used the old RSV text as a starting point, so the mistake lives on today, and many Christians still aren’t aware of it. When I pointed out the translation error, my correspondent became angry until I blocked him. I wish he’d put more effort into honest exegesis than deception.
That deception was deeply distressing and I’ve never recovered. The SSM debate was never about the truth; it was always about asserting authority, power, and protecting the biblical myth-base despite its obvious errors and textual instability.
Stupid Games win Stupid Prizes
Meanwhile, my church fixed a fake poll. A pastor circulated a private message via FB asking people to help rig an online poll. I did a double-take, then called him out.
Sections of the Christian community are a secret club. If you’re in, you get an endless stream of propaganda and passionate entreaties to act, all designed to keep the faithful obsessively fearful all the time. Or fund this or that endeavour. I know because I still get stuff like this on FB Messenger:
“Please forward this in private message to many of your Christian friends to vote NO to same sex marriage!! TIME TO PRAY & ACT PRECIOUS PEOPLE OF GOD: I invite all of you to share this link to all your friends and invite as many to vote as possible. The online poll is carried out by Channel 9. A real chance for us to speak up. Please vote ‘NO’ and help to forward. Yes is currently about 80%! Please vote…”
A link to an online poll was attached. It must have worked, because when I looked, the vote was two to one in favour of the No! Or maybe they lied about the 80%. By the magic of FB, I could see an endless line of people responding. Here in real time was a ‘Christian’ attempt to ‘rig’ a useless, unrepresentative online poll in their favour, couched as if it was the moral duty of all Christians to follow suit! Unbelievable.
Now, I have to say I voted ‘Yes’ with a little too much enthusiasm, so I am not a PRECIOUS PERSON OF GOD, at least by this person’s definition. I’m pretty sure of that, because the sender was a Pastor I know, from a church I no longer attend. Enough said.
Now my former church was actively alienating me. I obviously wasn’t precious unless I played their stupid games to win stupid prizes. There was a lot of dumb stuff flying around on FB. Christians telling others how to vote, invoking God, the Bible, or emotionally charged language for support. It was embarrassingly juvenile.
People shared all kinds of crazy reasons to vote ‘No’. Everything from sloppy genetics to the elusive, slippery slope fallacy. My favourite was ‘You can’t put two bulls in a paddock and call it a breeding program!’ Yes, someone compared marriage to a breeding program, completely ignoring the other reasons why people marry that don’t involve having children. Stupid and weird.
I learnt many sad and distressing lessons from the SSM debate, some I’ll share soon. American pastor and author John Pavlovitz, writing about the church’s wasteful anti-LGBTIQA+ phobia, had this to say about their attitude.
“Once they decide they’ve figured God out … there’s no humility, no effort at compassion, and certainly no considering they might actually be wrong—they just bulldoze strangers with a theology of damnation, delivered with hubris and ridicule, and some condescending lip service about “truth in love.””[xiv]
In 2017, I saw that attitude every single day. Christians trying to win at any cost.
Churches were badly wrong and they knew it. I’ll show exactly how badly they were wrong, and the ‘tell’ that reveals they knew. That’s next time on UNSAVED.
Next: DARVO Strategy. #HaveAGoodWeekend.
[i] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exodus_International
[ii] https://www.splcenter.org/resources/stories/splc-hails-decision-major-conversion-therapy-group-shut-down/
[iii] https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna52276374
[iv] https://www.ncronline.org/news/politics/ex-gay-group-exodus-international-shuts-down-president-apologizes
[v] https://baptistnews.com/article/undoing-the-damage-of-conversion-therapy/
[vi] Anthony Venn-Brown - Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthony_Venn-Brown
[vii]AMA Position Statement Marriage Equality 2017. https://www.ama.com.au/sites/default/files/documents/Marriage_Equality_2017_AMA_position_statement.pdf
[viii]From the 2015 APS Position Statement on the use of psychological practices that attempt to change sexual orientation. It’s no longer online, but a shorter updated version is available at. https://psychology.org.au/getmedia/7bb91307-14ba-4a24-b10b-750f85b0b729/updated_aps_position_statement_conversion_practices.pdf
[ix] The Victorian parliament has passed a bill banning gay conversion therapy | SBS News https://www.sbs.com.au/news/article/the-victorian-parliament-has-passed-a-bill-banning-gay-conversion-therapy/h81wdiwyg
[x]Matt Glover quoted in Farrah Tomazin. “I was profoundly unsettled: inside the hidden world of gay conversion therapy. https://www.smh.com.au/national/i-am-profoundly-unsettled-inside-the-hidden-world-of-gay-conversion-therapy-20180227-p4z1xn.html. See also Matt Glover. A Pastoral Response to the Homosexuality in the Church Rev. Matt Glover Lilydale Baptist Church October 2010.
[xi] https://lisawotton.wordpress.com/2017/08/29/what-is-marriage-a-brief-history-of-marriage/
[xii]Peter FitzSimons. Ian Roberts weeps as working-class fans go wild for Macklemore’s NRL show. www.smh.com.au October 2, 2017
[xiii] 1946 | The Mistranslation that Shifted a Culture
https://www.1946themovie.com/
[xiv]https://johnpavlovitz.com/2017/09/28/churchs-wasteful-lgbtq-phobia/